Wednesday 20 July 2016

Pearls of Wisdom - Number 1 Where it all begins...



“Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.”
― Aristotle

Well, here we are then, my very first Pearl of Wisdom for you my dear reader, I think Aristotle has given us the most perfect quote to get started with don't you agree?

And if you're wondering why you're here, whether I have anything to say that will inspire you or motivate you then I invite you to read on and find out how this little space on the internet came to be....

So what does it mean to know yourself, like really know yourself? I can remember being a teenage girl, and a young woman in my twenties looking at women older than me and thinking - wow, she really has her shit together, so confident, strong and sure of who she is,  I hope I'm like that one day!

I wonder if you do/did the same?

Now I'm in my thirties, almost forties (gulp!) and most days I still feel like I'm 21, I look at my life and sometimes wonder when I will feel grown up, despite being married, becoming a mother and having countless financial responsibilities. However when I do reflect back I can see how far I've come from 21 and I know I understand and feel more sure of myself now than I ever did back then.

But how did that happen then?

Well for a long time I drifted and felt lost, throughout my teenage years I got myself into all sorts of tricky, intense but sometimes wonderful and exhilarating situations and this really kind of continued through out my twenties. Through bad, often abusive relationships, some dead end jobs, friendships, travel, in and out of college and various bumps in the road with family members I tried to keep moving forward to find a place where I belonged and feel at home within my own skin.

Then into my thirties I found a genuine love through my career path for supporting others, I experienced a gentle, warmer and more honest relationship, I navigated my way through marriage, motherhood and mental health problems and am still doing it today! But through it all I learned what I did and didn't like and what I did and didn't want from life and of course with each of these experiences, situations and adventures I learned more about who I wanted to be, but also who I truly was and what I stood for and most importantly, to be proud and fearless of this too.

I wonder what adventures and heartbreaks you've had to find out who you are?

It's been a journey getting to know me, some of good, some of it simply awe inspiring and some of it just absolutely bloody awful and hellish! I have regrets and I have the most amazing memories.  I have also met many people along the way who have shaped me, for the good and the bad times and for wrong or right. I have battled and fought, screamed and cried and have danced and loved and been full of joy. Through out my journey to where I am now I have tried to take notice of what's happening and what I've learned, about life, about love, about grief and about me, no it's not been easy at times but it's all led me to the point where I am now and I am the most sure of myself and the most comfortable I have ever been.

Over these last 10 years I have worked closely with women through non profit organisations, local government and an online support website supporting them to tackle and navigate through various life situations and hurdles, many like the ones I've experienced above. Through their experiences and my own I have crafted ideas, strategies and resources that have helped them, and myself to stay buoyant, face scary and terrifying situations, battle through all consuming emotions, deal with guilt and regret, accept and learn from failure and find some peace, some harmony and some love and laughter. I've worked along side these women to take control of their lives and I've worked so, so hard to find what works for me, what keeps me well and what keeps me being able to give my best to myself and everyone around me.

Once I started to figure this out life became much easier for me, and when things started to spin out of control or I was faced with change or the unknown, or even when I was just having a bad week and couldn't shake that niggly feeling we all have of not being good enough I had this amazing emotional tool kit I had created for myself to draw upon, it was great and I felt liberated and in control for the first time in my life, I knew myself and I knew how to look after myself when I really needed to.

Throughout my career as a support worker though I continued to meet women who don't have that emotional tool kit at the ready, who don't know how to look after themselves, who feel bogged down by everything that life is throwing at them and are lacking in confidence, belief in themselves and the self worth they deserve to have. This is something that I still see in so many women around me today and I continue to have so many conversations with women I meet about the negativity they feel about themselves and their life and so this blog of mine was born.

I believe that if I can figure it out how to create my emotional tool kit, take care of my mental fitness and carve out a place in my life that I feel good about that other women can too. I get that so many don't even know where to start and that is why I'm here, writing this blog and give others my knowledge, wisdom, guidance and advice because why keep these awesome and inspiring ideas and thoughts to myself when I can share what changed my life for the better with so many others, imagine the impact it can have on them, on you, imagine if the women we know around us felt like they had that wisdom of truly knowing themselves and lived their life in that way.

That thought, that belief, that hope, that is why I started...

How does your journey look so far? 

I hope you will share it with me and I hope you will keep sharing in mine....
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